So, since Budapest, things have been swingy to say the least. I can definitely pin point this summer as being the low of my career, though the weather was pretty good so it didn't hit me as hard as it could have done.
I had blown quite a considerable roll by around March and although I had made good comebacks through the following months, my in ability to accept Bankroll Management as the fundamental ingredient for winning, had made it impossible to hold on to anything for too long.
The major event away from the actual felt, had been that I had been scammed in Budapest by a fellow poker player and EPT Budapest participant, a Swede who for confidentiality reasons I will name only as Bobert Andersson. He took me for 18,000€ in events which you can read here:
http://www.sickbluff.com/2009/04/unbelievable-story-about-2-poker.html
I was luckier than others before me in that I was able to obtain a legal contract, with his Father as a trustee to the repayment which gave me a good chance at seeing my money again. Unfortunately, Bobert's Fathers word meant less than his sons and I was forced to seek council from a lawyer who took on my case which went on in the background while I tried to keep my poker afloat.
By the summer I was totally broke. My usual trick of using a credit card and binking 20k hadn't worked and I was unpressure, angry that I had put myself in such a bad position. Luckily one of my greatest strengths in poker, and in life, is my continued optimisms, and the believe that things will be ok (though tis can often be a weakness too, hence the situation I was in). It is hardest thing in poker probably, that most outsiders don't appreciate, to carry on playing good when you don't have the comfort of a bankroll and money to live off. Eventually I got fed up of scratching around for funds to play with and went to look for a loan for the first time.
Although I hated borrowing money from a close relative, who could barely afford to give it up, I was forced for the first time in my career to follow strict bankroll guidelines. I told myself that if I ever went broke again I would quit poker and find something else, so this was really my last shot. I used a very small amount of the money to live off and spread the rest equally across FTP and PS. I then used the 100 buyin rule to SNG's and MTT's PER site, so despite having a total of 9,000$, I treated each as a seperate 4500$ playing nothing bigger than 45$ initially, that in turn meant I was using a 200 buyin rule.
Things were pretty tough at first, I was winning, but I was also doubting myself when I hit downswings. It was easy to question my game, having taken a notable absence, and found myself going to bed wondering whether I could beat the games anymore which pranged me out a bit.
As September hit and the good weather started to pass I got back into sleeping late and playing more MTT sessions. I was able to get myself through the WCOOPs thanks to my run good in the hyper turbo sats on Stars:
But obviously I did nothing in the WCOOPS, managing only 2 cashes from I don't want to think how many events. I did go deepish in the 6 max PLO finishing 34/2700 and holding a big stack for most of the event, but hindered by our timezone, I began to peter out, with my aggression factor that made me a threat completely diminished.
Thankfully I didn't have to wait too long for a break through, as i took first in the daily 80k for 16,000$ almost a month since I had started. What made this better was a horse of mine, Weez4004, took down a 1st in some 11$ mine field for 6,000$ so it was a sweet 20k night. I took a lot of it out and paid off CC's and most of my loan. It was nice not only to take some of pressure off but also to get my confidence back up in the MTT's.
October was similarly fortunate to me as I took 2nd in the Sunday 216$ HU, getting owned hard in the final and thus taking 7,000$ home and not 14k. Earlier to that I made 7th in a Sunday 109$, but managed to F up the final table. I tried complaining to stars, because my loss in timebank, thanks to the site crashing for 2 hours, had resulted in me only min 4 betting my KK v QQ and thus playing the hand 3-way with deep stacks. This ended in me pot-controlling a JJx flop and letting an Ace coming off and subsequently losing. More importantly than losing a relatively small pot was me not getting stacks in against the QQ, who despite being a nit, could not have gotten away from his hand being the button and me the Cut Off unless I made the misclick that I did. So it cost me a 150bb+ stack with 8 left, which given my history at final tables, would have made me a massive favorite to take the 35k first prize and not the 7,000$ I ended up with.
My memory is slightly hazy, but in between late October and early November I may have started to relapse a little. Not only because I had been playing a little too high at HU PLO (around 6,000$ in one session), a format that I had only recently felt more comfortable with as a CG, but also general spending and other gambling. I had ran some swingy sessions at BJ both pissed and sober, ending up with some unfortunate spots on Betfair where my luck had run out and I couldn't run back the losses. I think since I closed Betfair casino account there I had lost over £4000, though this was partly due to me having withdraw restrictions that stopped me from taking £5,000 out one Saturday and instead playing sports and then more BJ with it. If only my good friend and housemate had told me that all I needed to do was send in age verification. O well.
It was then in November that I had three good spots to help me bounce back from minor hiccups. I took a 3 way chop for 13,000$ in a 75$ mtt on FTP. I also made a 5 way chop in my first Live tournament since Budapest (exactly a year in fact, weird) for £4,500.
Then when I was rolling along nicely, and I thought my bankroll had in its lifetime been hit by everything there was, Full Tilt decided to introduce 164$ Super Turbo HU. I played 1 or 2 to cap a winning day, then stupidly I got into a session when I was in bed and had a football match in the morning. In 2 hours I had played 300 of the little fuckers and was down over 4,000$, running like aids, but maybe getting owned by some regs and basically not understanding how deep you have to be for these things. The next day I ran similar figures and really fucked my mind with these things. Basically in around 24 hours I had managed to lose 9,000$, mostly through these things, and I didn't feel good. I had been fucked hard when I was least expecting it and I felt a bit sorry for myself in all honesty. The next day I got up with that old horrible feeling of thinking the previous day was all a bad dream but then the reality of the beat you have just taken hits you. It happens at your lowest in the gambling industry, I also remember it from getting kicked out of school and of course breaking up with a girl. Its shitty. I started playing again, 100PLO deep HU but got raped by some ridiculous variance and beats and took a break. I told myself there was no way I was busting my roll ever again (I still had some back up but this was my roll). I went out and did some food shopping and tried to gather my head. I came back, ate and started grinding some HU SNG's and other stuff, keeping my BRM and made 1,000$. I decided that even if it took me a month i would grind this mother back and I felt good again. Me and 2 friends went to see a film and when I came back at 12 I actually felt fresh enough to play some more. It was getting on towards 1am so that meant the 24$ 35k and the 163$ 75k. Anyway I was lucky enough to run good and took down the 163 for 24,000$ which was also my biggest online cash. Even though I played great I felt like a little bit of a luckbox for fucking myself up to the point I had and then getting out of jail so quickly. A weird 48hrs but while I concentrated on never playing high in the CG's and MTT's I had overlooked SNG's. It was like the pokergods had created these fucking HU things to test me some how and I had failed miserably.
Novemeber also brought a settlement between me and my Swedish opposition which was another positive. Although I could have definitely taken the thing to court and stood a good chance of winning all my costs back too, I was mostly happy that they incurred the same total costs that they would have if they had just paid up originally. Going to court could have gotten messy because we were no longer fighting over whether the money had been given to the Swede, but whether his father should have to pay. It also in meant I had to cough up more money for the trail and possibly pay ALL their fee's too if I lost which was still a possibility. Therefore the Math's dictated that I should probably settle given that I didn't know what % of the time I would win in court.
I will be heading to the PCA this January after booking a seat via one of the 30r. I am excited with this prospect mostly because I will be on a beach for the first time in years! Though it will be sad to bust the tourney I'm sure it is one of th best places to do so. Bit gutted about flight prices. It has meant that me and Eddy (yes he's come back when things have got better) will be going to Miami for NYE and getting a cruiseliner to the Island and then doing the same on the way back. But now BA have gone and had a fucking strike so its yet to be seen how this screws things up.
No comments:
Post a Comment